The Dreaming Spires

Oxford

It was easy to think of the dreaming spires, of places that were somewhere else, any excuse to escape the dread that regularly overtook every waking step. And yet there was nothing that had changed. When he was growing up the world was going to end in 1972. According to the Mayan calendar it was going to end in December 2012. But as pundits around the world observed; it did no such things. But there were many who observed how quickly the zeitgeist, the eternal angst, had drifted into a kind of eternal now; that what had once seemed so important was no longer. That the problems, the desires, the troubles were rapidly shifting into something else. And so it seemed. The world had not ended; but something had.

He had been on the island of Phuket and day followed day in a lazy swirl which was new to him. He wasn't dealing with people used to a life of professional heat. Instead they sat in cafes and open air squares and dawdled away coffees a damn sight more expensive than almost any you could find on the mainland. Every glimpse of melancholy was an opportunity to confide in someone else. If there was any personal agony involved he couldn't see it. So some things were hard; but they didn't see it. Strive to survive. 

And then Ko Samui.

As one of the people in a restaurant explained; they weren't from Thailand either and none of the customers were from Thailand and so there wasn't much point in trying to speak Thai. Just speak English like everywhere else.

If they felt like their country had been stolen from under them; it was an easy sentiment to understand.

Mai Sabai, not relaxed, Chalaht, clever, Mai Chalaht, not relaxed, Mai Pen Rai, never mind, Arai G'dai, whatever, even in the middle distance the voices kept up their wavering mockery. He wasn't going to do anything to change the script. Mai Kow Jai Mon Thai, Not understand Thailand. He was neither blind, stupid or deaf, not yet. And while ever the derision lasted, nor would he be at peace. 

Leave him be, leave him be, let him get on with getting his life back together.

The topsy turvy year of 2012 was coming to a close; and he would never have cared, never have known, if they hadn't laid it out so clearly for him. There amidst the false trails lay all the answers. He could haunt the place but in the end didn't care. There was going to be a reckoning, but it wasn't for him. If they had ever been destined, it was not for him. If they had ever been in love, it was not with him. And so, when the fish came jumping out of the sea, when a myriad of stories came home  to roost, when every thread and every path laid down came finally back to where they belonged; he would be standing there laughing. Because he was still alive against all the odds. And he smiled magnanimously. Thanks for the ride, he waved, with all the grandiosity of the defective. 

Show no fear, he advised. They don't understand it; and are frightened of what they don't understand.

"Thai people not your friend," the pharmacist on Surawong warned him, eyeing the young man standing outside waiting for him.

"I know," he replied, laughing disingenuously. "I learn the hard way."

The pharmacist looked at him curiously, as if the depth of stupidity of this particular foreigner remained beyond any depths of stupidity he had previously witnessed.

Never mind, he thought, as he paid for his purchase and made his way outside. Thailand is an ever fascinating, intriguing, often beautiful, always challenging place. He hadn't intended to stay so long. But one way or another; he was still there. The acrid smell of the dense traffic swept through tired lungs; and he cheerfully greeted the young man he knew perfectly well was deceiving him.   

  

The Stories They Want To Believe

They believed what they wanted to believe. It was always thus. You'll be bashed if you ask the wrong person where a gay bar is, the waiter warned, offering himself up at the same time.

The next day a moto cie driver pointed to a nearby soi when he asked the same question in a neighbouring town, then offered himself up for 500 baht. 

Five hundred baht and my wallet, he thought, declining the offer.

The UK and Australian embassies had joined with the Thai government in warning against tourist scams scarring the reputation of the holiday resorts.

Although there was little visual correlation, the scenes on Phuket and Ko Samui, where he had gone after becoming tired of Bangkok and the endless grimy pursuit of his pursuers, the howling of the mob, the derision of the common man, demonstrating, if nothing else, how utterly corrupt, vindictive, dishonest and unprincipled were those who sought to ridicule him.

Without conscience, without taste, without scruple, sometimes he could think of no way out but retreat.

But retreat to where?

What doesn't kill us makes us stronger, went the old saying, and thus it had proved to be. 

They had proved they could manipulate public opinion, as if that was a difficult achievement. They had proved that truth mattered not one jot to them. They had proved they were prepared to ridicule and malign anyone who got in their way. Anyone who objected to being robbed, cheated, maligned. Their lies were endless, these scumbags. Let them lie, he had always thought, they only expose themselves. But there were times when he wondered how far they would take it.

Will they kill him? one of the voices asked.

If they can, another answered.

The exposure for all to see of the corrupt liaisons between the bar owners and the police had been exposed for all to see; or those who cared to look.

But that didn't mean he had won any fans, or protection. All that did was leave him well out on a limb; with only the occasional friend to provide a bridge to safety.

Same as it ever was, same as it ever was, water flowing underground, he repeated to his friend Ross, quoting the words from Talking Heads. Remember that song? he asked.

Yes, Ross replied. It's the same all over the world. People don't like gays. You're in a minority. There just aren't many services for people like you. Why can't you just get off with a girl, like everybody else?

I don't know, he shrugged.

It was Christmas Day, 2012. He had lived more than 40 years longer than he had ever expected to do. And if the longevity gene in his family had been passed to him, would live a damn sight longer yet.

He watched the girls dancing on the bar come stage; scene after scene. They outnumbered customers a dozen to one.

The tourists hadn't come this year; despite all the industry's optimistic forecasts. 

While the Red Shirts had bashed a hole in the tourist industry in 2010 there were other factors at play, poor economies in Europe and America, Thailand's increasingly tatty reputation for tourist scams and an AIDS infested sex industry. Six hundred thousand Thais had already died. Another 400,000 were infected, according to the latest official statistics. If they had died of anything else, if it was anybody other than sex workers, largely derived from the urban and rural poor, who were dying, there would have been a national outcry and massive government programs in place. As it was, the latest statistics were just another news story in the blizzard of information that had become everybody's life.

One brief moment, one brief glance in a crowded bar, had changed not just his life but a number of others.

And here amidst the lost, bruised for sure, it was obvious they had done more damage to themselves than they could ever do to him. A single individual, an agent of change, had only so much power. But tendrils reached everywhere. They had no idea who or what they were dealing with. False trails lay everywhere. Yes, he had been damaged, but so had they. 

Leave him alone, the official pleaded, leave him alone to get his life back together. 

Chalaht mak, very clever, no good for Thailand, Mon Thai, the voices said, the derision wavering into puzzlement.

You do it to everyone, rob, cheat, steal, lie, this is what you call, in your conscience free zone, tahm nahm, work. 

Open yourself up to the world; and the world judges you according to its own values. Not yours. A double cross is a double cross. The honor amongst thieves that operates in the West does not operate in Thailand for one simple reason. You are a falang, or farang, the pronunciation varying across the country. You will never be Thai. You will never fit in. They don't want you to fit in. They laugh at their own treachery, don't believe a word they say. And laugh at the suckers who fall their lies. 

It was what it was, he shrugged, and kept on walking. 

Pleasure Everywhere

"Where have you been," his recent friend asked of another Italian asked who climbing off his motor bike.
We were outside a Family Mart on the island of Phuket.
"Ko Samui," the man, short, bald headed, very Italian, replied.
"Enjoy?"
"OK. There is pleasure every. My God."
He had escaped the echoing corridors, the surveillance, the derision of Bangkok, the halls surrounded with a laughter he did not feel.
He had lingered in Bangkok, Khron Tep, for days, perhaps it was months, working or recovering, his prolonged sobriety punctured by increasingly rare increasingly wild benders.
Why so keen on the setup?
"He's going down," one of the voices said in yet another crowded discotheque. "That book."
"Leave him be. Let him get his life back together. It's what he says himself. He would like to sue you for stress. Leave him alone."
He had repeatedly pointed out: "They make their own story."
"For him, it's five minutes to midnight," one of the voices stated.
But it wasn't that many days before another asked: "Who is this guy?"
He had merely questioned someone about seed banks in response to a long ago story about Glasgow. What, they thought he didn't know about these things?
All was well in an infinitely strange way; as if he had escaped the pressures of the past; as if nothing could equal what he had already gone through.
There was no mercy.
There would never be any mercy.
Among those he met.  For the people with whom he lingered.
He didn't know whether to stay or go.
He said it repeatedly to confuse the people who trailed him, laying yet another false path on their highway to hell.
But in fact it was genuine enough.
There were "pathways", that phrase the public servants he had become acquainted with during his decades as a journalist were so fond of using in their documentation.
Their relentless seas of paperwork.
Of confusion.
In his case there was no clear pathway opening up ahead, as it usually did.
He didn't know how to enjoy; had never thought or sought such an outcome.
Here on the island there was something of the same feel of his own city, as if it could all be washed away in an instant; as the tsunami had proved.
The Impossible, the story of a British family who survived the tsunami, so white washed you would have thought no a single Thai person had died, is running in the cinemas. He wasn't about to see it twice, although he liked to see movies twice. You saw different things the second time round.
"It's not that sort of movie," one of the 12 steppers commented, idling away their idle days on the island, as if they had never worked, never kept up a professional pace, never crammed too many things into one day.
They were a little like the welfare dependent but with their own means and abandoned to luxury: to do one hing a day was more than enough.
He reached out across time and space, fell in the ditch, laughed at the sky. It was the same everywhere. We are all standing on the earth. But only some of us are looking at the stars.
Or as the Daily Literary Quote from Roman Payne declared, those who "revel in the voluptuousness of the life that surrounds them."

THE BIGGER STORY:

AUSTRALIA'S most senior Catholic, George Pell, has used his traditional Christmas message to apologise for the crimes of Christian officials, priests and teachers, declaring he feels the community's "shock and shame" at revelations of wrongdoing.

Cardinal Pell spoke of Christ's message of peace but acknowledged there was less peace - and sometimes no peace - where there was evil.

DOCUMENT: Pell's Christmas message

"My heart, the hearts of all believers, of all people of goodwill, go out to all those who cannot find peace at this time, especially those who have suffered at the hands of fellow Christians; Christian officials, priests, religious, teachers," he said.

"I am deeply sorry this has happened. It is deeply contrary to Christ's teachings and I too feel the shock and shame across the community at these revelations of wrong doing and crimes."

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Believe it or not

Cardinal Pell's message comes as the federal government prepares its terms of reference for a national royal commission into abuse within institutions, due next year. He said faith in goodness and love was needed to cope with disasters and hurt.

The message of Jesus Christ, he said, was a simple "great truth" open to all and rooted in history.

Ahead of the most celebrated day on the Christian calendar, commemorating the birth of Jesus more than 2000 years ago, spiritual leaders reminded followers Christmas was a time for reflection and hope.

Anglican Church of Australia Primate, Archbishop Phillip Aspinall, said it was a time of celebration, new imagination and potential renewal for both society and individuals.

The leader of Australia's Anglican community said the story of Christmas reminded people of God's hope and life.

"It is easy to lose heart when we look upon our world," Archbishop Aspinall said.

"It seems society has become habitually cynical and mistrustful, our public discourse thin and impoverished.

"We are thirsting for a new spirit - new ideas, new generosity and a new gratitude for all we have and are. Christmas is the time for new imagination."

Anglican Archbishop of Sydney Peter Jensen - in his last Christmas address before his retirement next year - said it was a time for reconciliation with God and each other.

"Reconciliation is a big theme for us Aussies," he said.

"Notably, we need to be reconciled with each other; not least, we more recent immigrant settlers with our indigenous First People.

"Reconciliation has to flow out of love."

Catholic Archbishop Denis Hart, the president of the Australian Catholic Bishops Conference, offered a prayer for the coming year while reflecting on Jesus's birth.

"My prayer is that 2013 will be characterised by peace in our society, tolerance and respect for young and old, and an ability to look beyond the immediate moment to the hope which God provides each of us by his coming," he said.

"Then we know that we are valued and we can make our city, our home, a better place.

"It is significant that God came to people in material poverty to show the great worth of each human person."

World Vision chief executive and Baptist reverend Tim Costello, said 2012 was a "grab bag of blessings and curses" for many Australians.

But Christmas was an opportunity to step away from the pressures and expectations of normal routines and find new possibilities.

" escaped the worst of the financial woes affecting other countries and our economy is still strong," Reverend Costello said.

"But on the other hand, many of us are struggling to keep up with our household expenses."

Churches of Christ federal coordinator Craig Brown made special mention of the young people abused by churches but said the institution may be able to partially restore lives.

Canberra Catholic Monsignor John Woods urged people to engage with the nativity scene of Christmas to get a perspective on the true significance of the period.

"Reclaim your lost innocence in the eyes of a baby, so powerless and yet so engaging," he said.

"This baby will confound, comfort and challenge and be rejected as too good to be true as he reconciles that which still divides us - life and death, light and dark, heaven and earth, victim and perpetrator, the refugee and the citizen, partisan politicians and the common good, the sick and the healthy, the rich and the unemployed, the loved and the lonely, all of us."




Aussies warned about Phuket scamsters

BANGKOK: -- Australian tourists in Phuket should be wary of extortion gangs, some of which are in cahoots with local police.

Australian Ambassador James Wise and his British counterpart, Mark Kent, have joined a Thai Ministry of Tourism campaign to tackle tourist scams on Phuket.

Up to 25,000 Australians visit Phuket each month, with Christmas and New Year the peak of the tourism season.

The main scams involve taxi and jet-ski operators in Phuket and the seaside resort town of Pattaya.

Mr Wise said travellers needed to be on their guard when they hired jet-skis or motorcycles.

"Consider the implications if it is stolen or damaged. Foreigners are commonly detained by police until compensation, often thousands of dollars, is negotiated between the parties."

Mr Kent said travellers should be cautious in "crowded markets, tourist sites, bus or train stations and festivals".

"It is best to avoid isolated neighbourhoods, shortcuts, narrow alleys and poorly lit streets, especially late at night," he said.

Larry Cunningham, Australia's honorary consul in Phuket, said scams and criminality had increased to such an extent that expatriates wanted to leave the island.

Mr Cunningham said young travellers were specially targeted by gangs and on occasion by local police.

In one incident, a young Australian man was involved in a minor traffic accident when riding a rental bike. He was told by police an injured man's condition was serious and was forced to pay thousands of dollars in compensation. [more...]

Full story: http://www.smh.com.a...1223-2btzi.html


-- The Sydney Morning Herald 2012-12-24