When the word came through that the first job of the day was in Phillip Street, outside the federal government offices, he knew it would be cold. He reached for a black jacket he had acquired he was not sure how, found, he couldn't remember where, and headed out the door. He noticed, as always, how alone he was these days. There wasn't anyone to say goodbye to. There was no polite kiss, no subterfuge; the intimate moments they had shared, he and M, were so much a part of history now that his fantasies reached back across decades; cold in what had been so much chaos; so much warmth; they had been special and shared so much difference, they held their unique love and now, old, those unique smells of intimacy he could still remember. There wasn't anybody else he could do those same things with; that he could inquire into erotic depths and know that no matter how hard they struggled their patterns of lust were a political statement; sperm splattering on taut stomachs; sunshine through the bedroom window of the room where M had spent his adolescence, growing up in the security of upper class houses.
He had never seen anything like it. His own youth had been fraught with embarrassment. There weren't any educated parents conversing in expansive dining rooms, discussing the shifting politics of the day, gay politics, the rumoured sexuality of the former South Australian premier Don Dunstan, who of course they all knew well. M had been best of friends with Dunstan's son; who was nice but we all thought a bit of a nerd. I was from Sydney and thereby exotic. I was burnt out already and I wasn't even half way through my twenties. I was already old, the ancient age of lost speed freaks who had seen everything, been everywhere, who had spent the long nights in grinding despair and knew that in failure, in genetic codes that blighted any hope of a simple, optimistic future, of happy families and social success; I already knew that the misery that would envelop us would provide no comfort or certainty. I already knew, the psyche of a corrupt, alcoholic old queen, lisping in a distorted future, I already knew that things would not end well.
So when I heard the first job was Phillip Street, I reached for the black jacket and knew, in that wind tunnel of a street, that whatever elaborate nonsense our politicians would get up to, we would be standing outside in the cold, popping futile questions as they swept through the media pack; is the Treasurer a liar, is the Prime Minister a liar, can the government continue like this? Amanda Vanstone, the Minister for Immigration, one of the only government ministers with a real dose of personality, was uniquely herself. While most of them pulled up in front and climbed out of their government cars with an adopted air of self-importance, Amanda toddled down the street from wherever she had been staying, uniquely on her own. Aren't you cold? I asked. She was wearing a dress and a ballooning, short sleaved pink top. What are you, a wimp? she asked? Joining in the riposte, laughing. We knew each other of old. Would one of you help me with these bags, she asked, handing her bag over to a handsome, willing television reporter. I'm just looking forward to doing my job, she declared, hit with the same barrage of questions as everybody else, giving nothing away, playing the game. There was the deputy prime minister, Mark Vaile, who declared the issue of the leadership had to be resolved; Julie Bishop, touted as potentially the country's first conservative female Prime Minister, gave her short speil to the pack as head of the Nationals; there was much work to be done, she was determined.... But determined to do what; be the next PM? And Costello, the Treasurer who had brought on the leadership battle, himself chose to do the walk. He could, like the Prime Minsiter, have had his car drop him under the building, avoiding the scrum; but he had no such inclination. Arriving from the airport, where he had just arrived from Melbourne, he chose instead to get out a couple of hundred metres up the road. And he did the walk. There's Peter, the word spread quickly, and they filmed him as he approached, that same stupid grin he always had. He held his doorstop; saying again exactly what he had said yesterday, the truth would out; and in the pack, this time containing many of the country's leading political commentators, he stirred the pot before going inside. Anyone who doesn't think they lead the party as a gift from the 100 or so parliamentary members of the Liberal party, was displaying arrogance and hubris; Howard had said that morning at the beginning of his daily walk. Arrogance and hubris it surely was. But my own thoughts, that nothing would happen, that Howard, as a true conservative, would follow his natural cautious instincts and do almost nothing; turned out to be true.
At the end of the day John Howard remained Prime Minister; Peter Costello remained Deputy Prime Minister and Treasurer, and while he should have been decisively sacked for gross disloyalty, nothing of the kind happened. They can't even have a decent stoush; senior figures on the paper commented, and thus it proved to be.
From the ABC:
Australian Prime Minister John Howard has emerged from a cabinet meeting in Sydney saying he doesn't believe his professional relationship with Treasurer Peter Costello has broken down.
The cabinet meeting was Mr Howard's and Mr Costello's first face to face meeting since making contradictory claims about a leadership deal between the two men.
Mr Howard says he and his treasurer continue to disagree over whether a leadership handover deal was struck at a meeting 12 years ago.
But Mr Howard says the two men will continue to discharge their ministerial responsiblities.
The prime minister says it has been a difficult few days for the Liberal Party, and expects the political damage to be felt in the opinion polls.
The leadership issue was discussed at the cabinet meeting, and again later in a private meeting between Mr Howard and Mr Costello.
The prime minister says he feels no personal hostility towards the treasurer.
"I do not believe that the professional relationship between Mr Costello and me has broken down," Mr Howard said.
"We have worked together in the past over a long period of time. It has been a very successful partnership and I intend to continue to work in a professional manner."
A former defence minister, Ian McLachlan, has revealed he witnessed a meeting between the two men in 1994, where Mr Howard said if he won office he would hand over the leadership after two terms.
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