Off The Cliff

*



Faces along the bar
Cling to their average day:
The lights must never go out,
The music must always play,
All the conventions conspire
To make this fort assume
The furniture of home;
Lest we should see where we are,
Lost in a haunted wood,
Children afraid of the night
Who have never been happy or good.

W.H. Auden





They are arguing outside my window at 3am, but rather than the familiar scenes of Redfern, which had become so much a part of himself and his family, he was now at Bondi Beach; where the contrast was total. From inner-city grit to the clairvoyance of the surf; from being careful each time he stepped out the door not to be robbed he was surrounded by young, fit tourists from around the world and pampered Eastern suburbs beauties in their flash cars; leaving a spray of arrogance wherever they went. He had thrown himself off the cliff and it had taken months to recover. He had been psychically tortured and physically bullied; and the world queued up to have another kick. He wasn't going to take it anymore.

There were crying shames and mewling cats, and shadows that flitted across the landscape though he could never see what they meant. There were times when he wished them ill. He had tried so hard to no avail. The move was just part of the tragedy which had ripped through his life, turning everything upside down. He couldn't be shadowed at this pace. He couldn't say no, he couldn't regret. Oh please, please, the voice had said, don't do this again. It's inevitable, the devil of the piece replied, and he fell off the wagon, or threw himself off the cliff more like, with such grim determination it was a miracle he ever came back.

The valley of the shadow had been there all along. Crass, beholden, black, everything was mired in a terrible darkness, not just the thick grey glue of former times; but an actual treacle blackness. Bored, bored, he stood up and waved; determined to be himself, tired of the attacks. For there was nothing truer: if you are vulnerable they attack; and that, of course, was what he had just been through.

Dynamited out of his Redfern home; change forced upon him, he was now being dynamited out of a job he had always loved; from the inventiveness and creativity of general reporting to listing things for rich people. It was a terrible mistake. She just ridicules me; he said. Well she doesn't ridicule me, the Irish saint said; and everything twirled and changed in shadows and light; and he was caught in an awesome take; shadowed; curdled, wiping the black treacle from his arms; cruelled and cruelty; shadows and dark; it was all going to go away.

He had gone through his early morning walks, walking the dog they had had to forsake, and while all their Christmases came at once a terrible loneliness set in; as families everywhere celebrated while he did things for others; tried to be a good person; watched as others grew older. He was shocked by the state of her. Worried. He didn't want to go to another funeral. He didn't want to reach these terrible staging posts in life; not for himself; not for her; not Joyce, not now. He was shocked by the state of her and felt an immediate impulse to get up and hug her, cross the brief gap between them, thank her for everything she had meant to him, the sneary little nit twits who would just have to pass away for him to survive.

He wasn't going to be a wrecking ball in his own life anymore. He wasn't going to destroy everything that was built up; and say, sorry, sorry, I didn't mean to do so much harm. He wasn't going to shadow through the darkness and say yes, yes, of course, I have always sought oblivion and will do so now. Surely there would be all the normal things: shame, guilt, regret, remorse; but instead he stood tall at all that he had achieved. Life was wonderful. The waves crashed on the shore and he felt empowered by his daily walks, his increasing fitness; his better states of mind. They could say what they liked, he had survived. It was only natural: now he would prosper.



THE BIGGER STORY:

http://www.theage.com.au/national/first-round-to-abbott-as-libs-win-20091205-kc3e.html

THE Liberal Party has comfortably retained its blue-ribbon seats of Higgins and Bradfield in what is a significant boost for new leader Tony Abbott and an early sign that his opposition to Labor's emissions trading scheme has support in the conservative heartland.

In early counting last night Kelly O'Dwyer, the candidate for former treasurer Peter Costello's Melbourne seat of Higgins was leading high-profile Greens candidate Clive Hamilton 57 per cent to 43 per cent on a two-party preferred basis.

And in Bradfield, the Sydney seat vacated by former Liberal leader Brendan Nelson, Paul Fletcher last night was leading Greens candidate Susie Gemmell 64 per cent to 36 per cent.

Labor did not stand candidates in either seat.

The results suggest Tony Abbott has easily passed his first big test as Liberal leader.

Despite speculation of a backlash over his party's about-face on climate change, voters in the Liberal stronghold of Higgins were true to tradition and elected Ms O'Dwyer with nearly 52 per cent of the primary vote - a swing against her of less than 1 per cent. In 2007,- Mr Costello won 53.6 per cent of the primary vote.

In the absence of a Labor candidate in Higgins, the Greens were last night on track to record their biggest House of Representatives primary vote, after attracting a 24 per cent swing on their 2007 primary vote.

''We think we've done extremely well in Higgins,'' said Dr Hamilton, a Canberra-based academic and author.

''It looks like we will get 35 per cent of the primary vote, which is easily the biggest primary vote the Greens have ever had in the House of Representatives.''

http://www.abc.net.au/news/stories/2009/12/05/2762821.htm?section=australia

Former Prime Minister John Howard says he is pleased his friend and former minister Tony Abbott has taken leadership of the Liberal Party and says he will assist Mr Abbott in any way he can.

Mr Howard says the new Opposition Leader's intellect, energy and strong attitudes are to be applauded.

"Tony is a close friend of mine. He's a person who has enormous intellect, he has great vigour, he's got enormous energy and he has very, very strong attitudes and I respect that in him and I will do everything I can to assist him," he said.

It was a night of celebration for the Liberal party faithful.

The latest Howard biography was in hardback and the party had a new leader from its conservative base.

John Howard spoke in Sydney last night at a book launch of The Howard Era - a collection of essays and stories - a biography written largely by his former staff members.

He thanked all 21 authors who had penned a chapter, including the party's latest leader.

"One of the other contributors, of course, is now the leader of Her Majesty's loyal opposition and that is Tony Abbott," he said.

"And can I say, without in any way reflecting upon the contributions of either Brendan Nelson or Malcolm Turnbull, both of whom were cabinet ministers in my government and both of whom in their different ways brought enormous strength to that government and made huge contributions to the Liberal Party in a difficult time immediately after a defeat, I want to say how much I warm to Tony."

http://www.smh.com.au/national/sour-pm-takes-sweet-time-greeting-premier-20091205-kbzg.html

PRIME MINISTER Kevin Rudd is so furious with the NSW Labor Party that he has delivered a humiliating snub to new Premier Kristina Keneally.

In a break with tradition, Mr Rudd avoided ringing the fledgling leader of the nation's most populous state for more than 40 hours to congratulate her on becoming NSW's first female premier.

Protocol dictates that the Prime Minister should make a goodwill call to a new Labor leader but he is so sick of NSW Labor's shenanigans that he did not call her on the night she won office.

Last night Mr Rudd's spokesman said the Prime Minister eventually called Ms Keneally yesterday afternoon and the pair ''had a long conversation''.

But the call was not made until after media inquiries by The Sun-Herald. A spokesman for Ms Keneally did not known when contact was made.

The leadership turmoil of last week and the emergence of yet another premier has angered Mr Rudd, with one senior Labor source saying the Prime Minister had had a ''gutful'' of his NSW colleagues.

''He just wants the Government to govern and he can't believe the never-ending dramas,'' the source said. ''He wants Kristina Keneally to step up and show some leadership for the good of the state and the party.''

Mr Rudd and his federal colleagues have been appalled by the constant instability and infighting in NSW and until three weeks ago his disdain for former premier Nathan Rees - whom he regarded as incompetent - was clear. But last month, impressed by Mr Rees's determination to rid his government of damaging factionalism, Mr Rudd buried the hatchet and backed Mr Rees. They were photographed together in Sydney and for once Mr Rudd was not squirming.

On Friday, the day after Ms Keneally toppled Mr Rees, Mr Rudd said: ''I'm sick to death of fighting and infighting and divisions in the Government of NSW.

''The people of NSW are now expecting better government and I would suggest that the new Premier … get on with the job and get on with the job as of today.''