Every day was crueller than the last. More confused, more sweaty, his head doing handstands. Why was it? Every other time had been a disaster, why would this time be any different? He couldn't sleep. Not now, not ever. Sticky, uncomfortable, uncomfortable in his own skin. Ian found himself a cute Thai girl. They view prostitution differently here, went the motto of the Western male. He saw them everywhere, the middle aged men with the gorgeous girls hanging off them.
Ordinary looking men from ordinary towns. Oh how was it possible? Why did nothing stay still? The true mask was coming; the day following day, already the sound of traffic on nearby Sukhumvit building up. The chirp of the birds. Everybody else with their life. Everyone else accompanied. Sometimes, maybe you are one of them, I think it is like a meeting of old souls. Old souls from another time, old souls who had lived before; and now were trapped in these fragile frames, these fragile lives. If everything was coming clear, he would survive.
But he didn't know if that was the case. He didn't know whether to head north or south. He had a bad feeling about Pattaya. He needed to be quiet, and yet solitude could drive him just as crazy. How weak you are, how terribly sad. And yet triumph was just around the corner. Tiny lives in tiny places. Hands stinging, he didn't know why. Alcoholics love a bit of free luxury, he said of his heavily compromised situation, as he sat by the pool, as the city pollution built up, as day followed day.
Come to me darling, the devil's heads had said, while all around he could feel the pointlessness of everything, drained by everything, drained by life. This is not hte way to go, a voice said, and the mosquitoes buzzed around his exposed feet. There was always something stinging him. Oh how much longer, how much longer, can this terrible state of mind last?
And yet the rooms were full of old Asian hands, elegant some of them, knowing their way around. He was a stranger in a strange land, as always. He wanted to belong, but didn't. The boss is coming, they said, and that would change the dynamic, change everything. He would walk the streets and find a morning coffee. He would remember how it was last time; the discomfort, the terrible sadness, then the release. He walked into the male brothel and the boys paraded on high, numbers around their necks. Pick and choose, pick and choose.
Forty years ago he had gone barefoot to the Bunny Club in Chaing Mai, and the girls had been in cages and he had been asked to pick. He couldn't pick anything out of that sad mess. And so he drank, as he always drank, and day followed day and the cringing disregard he had for his own life multiplied and became denser over the years. It was like living in a science fiction movie, living in the future of his own life.
Sydney was an increasingly Asian city; and here, in the crowded Bangkok Sky Train, the BTS, it felt as if he had landed in the future of the human race, the bodies crowded into the modern carriages which swept above the crowded traffic below. The Sky Train. The future. Everyone comes in with expectation and regret. Everyone needs to live in the moment. Everyone needs learn to take it a day at a time.
He smiled. Charm could get you everywhere.
I'm not sure whether I'm here as an anthropological study, or really here, the man said, and for that he could relate. There are some genuinely interesting people involved.
The egos, they were clashed and driven. He was tired of it all; and tired of them. And yet hands were extended; and life could be easy. Let it be, let it be.
THE BIGGER STORY:
http://news.ninemsn.com.au/national/1012371/pauline-hanson-set-to-leave-australia
Pauline Hanson has told of her plans to sell her Queensland home and relocate to Britain.
Just days after announcing that she was finished with politics, the former One Nation leader now says she is saying "goodbye" to Australia.
Will you miss Pauline? Or are you happy she's going? Have your say below.
"I'm going to be away indefinitely," Ms Hanson said.
"It's pretty much goodbye forever."
The former federal MP has revealed in an interview with Woman's Day, published today, that she plans to sell her property at Coleyville, southwest of Brisbane, before taking a cruise to New Zealand's South Island — and then resettling in Britain.
Ms Hanson sparked national debate in Australia when she entered Parliament in 1996 espousing hard-line views on immigration policy and Aboriginal disadvantage.
In her maiden speech she said she believed that "we are in danger of being swamped by Asians".
But the 55-year-old now says she is disappointed with the way Australia has changed.
"I've really had enough," she is quoted by Woman's Day as saying.
"I want peace in my life. I want contentment, and that's what I'm aiming for."
http://www.sunshinecoastdaily.com.au/story/2010/02/15/voters-plan-to-punish-premier/
Anna Bligh.
THE Sunshine Coast’s LNP MPs have cautiously welcomed a new poll which shows Premier Anna Bligh is on the electoral ropes.
The Sunday Mail/Galaxy poll shows if an election was held yesterday the Liberal National Party would have romped home by 59-41% on two-party preferred figures.
Ms Bligh’s personal approval rating as premier also showed a further drop to 28% while LNP leader John-Paul Langbroek has passed her for the first time, coming in at 32% satisfaction.
But the poll also shows a large majority of voters want to punish the ALP more than they want to credit the LNP’s improvement since last year’s election, where Labor beat the conservatives 51-49% on two party-preferred figures.
Asked whether they thought if the LNP improved its vote share at the next election it was down to their own work or a desire to punish Labor, 63% wanted to hand out the punishing while only 25% were prepared to credit the conservatives; another 12% were uncommitted.
Sample picture. Travelling.
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