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Thursday, 26 August 2010

Liquid Desire Fatal Attraction Defiance Of All Commonsense

He didn't mean for any of it too happen. None of it at all. He had been proudly sober for weeks and was starting to feel, well at least partially sane. Instead he walked out of an AA meeting at the Plaza Hotel on Soi Seven in Bangkok and straight into the arms of liquid desire. He had parked his old friend Ian - one of those jolly chaps with no apparent income who dedicated their affluence to hedonism - in the Biergarten opposite the meeting, declaring he would be back within the hour. Ian couldn't have looked happier. There were never less than a 100 girls in the Biergarten at any one time, all of them available to a Westerner at a price. They varied between drop dead gorgeous and perfectly reasonable. Most were pretty charming to boot. Ian had been fantasising about girls all day, well all of his life really, but on this day it had reached fever pitch. His current, exotic but temperamental squeeze being away visiting her typically enormous Thai family somewhere in the provinces. I'll buy you a boy, Ian had wilfully declared. A girl for me, maybe two girls for me, and a boy for you. If you don't see a girl you like. Not sure about you.

I'm not really up to it at the moment, he protested.
Oh don't be ridiculous, Ian snorted. This is Bangkok. You can't sleep alone.

When he re-entered the Biergarten to collect him Ian already had two or three girls on either side vying for his attention. He was laughing away at their affections and affectations while simultaneously oggling off a younger and older woman seated together. Never had a mother daughter combo, Ian whispered in his ear. That would be worth trying.

Rapidly realising that the number of girls sponging drinks had already reached six or seven and was showing every sign of increasing, he whispered back: let's try somewhere else. Thus it was that they ended up at Bangkok's notorious Soi Cowboy; again a red light district dedicated to foreigners. Thai brothels for Thai men were another story entirely. They stood amidst the flashing lights and the crowds of Soi Cowboy, uncertain which of the go go bars to enter, whose enticement to respond to. A middle aged man was standing slap bang in the middle of the soi. You look lost, he said. I am, the man replied. Realising they had a fellow Australian in hand they cheerfully embraced him. Don't worry, they told him, we'll show you the ropes. I'm married, he protested. Yes, well, is your wife with you in Bangkok? No, I'm meeting her in London. We've been married for 24 years. We have two children. What she doesn't know won't hurt her, they assured him. And so they settled on the go go bar in the centre, drinks 70 baht until 9pm. And he just thought, oh eff it, I'll just have a few beers and go back to meetings tomorrow. Never confess. What they don't know won't hurt them either.

For some weird reason known only to him the accountant couldn't bring himself to betray his wife of 24 years; so in the end, after an impressive number of beers and several inconclusive flirtations, none of the admittedly very pretty girls seemed quite right, they decided to move on yet again and check out Patpong, Bangkok's oldest red light district targeting falang, foreigners. But first of all they would go and check out the Merman show, where naked boys swam in a tank. It all sounded very Bangkok.


He knew he shouldn't go to see him again; that invisible toxic lure, the sirens crashing on the sure. But he did anyway, impossible to resist. Baw was living in a large cheap apartment block, one of those typical Thai arrangements, four to a room. They smoked. They didn't drink but he might as well have. Things went awry very quickly. Indeed he went back several times; and their heads were winding through the clouds and their teeth clenched, instant ecstasy, those puffy white things dripping crystals...

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