Unimpressive Last Time

*

Now was a time to be free. Now was a time to find a home and stay there. Sweet Jesus, evoked all the grandiloquent lines. Nothing wrong with a bit of delinquent grandiosity he declared. Johnny Cash: "...playing Jesus to the lepers in my head". Bukowski: We were born to strew flowers down the avenues of the dead. Burroughs: Fish boys ejaculating on silver streams. The windy smell of rotting oranges. All these strange, well actually they didn't seem strange at all, thoughts came and went as he grizzled at idiots and worried about money and found odd tunes to play, here, there, everywhere he went, oscillating in darkness and in health, shorn, bereft, off stage, passing through the days and the eye of the needle, consequence in a land and a time without consequence, shorn of meaning and delivered anew. It made sense but no sense; so instead he felt sleepy and went to bed early. Chaos was at the door but not allowed in. They could almost have been happy. Well I received no warning of this, and therefore refuse to pay. You can suffocate for all I care. Let's go marching through the rivers of the dead. Let's find new boys in the back streets, in the slums. Very handsome, he said. It was the universal pick up line in this part of the world. As in, come home, I will tip you generously. And you won't have to do too much.

Pom chow, or Putchow, they declared, I am man, which meant, of course, you can do anything you like to me except eff me. And that was where he was left, wandering, uncertain of his heart, uncertain he had done the right thing in selecting one from the crowd, happy in intent and discontent at heart, wandering shamelessly through other breezes; shorn of meaning, bereft of purpose, slaving over typewriters, passing through the eye of a needle. All was well but not well. We were certain of purpose but yes shorn of meaning, and existing with people who had done nothing with their lives except not drink; have you managed to cobble together some days? old Wayne asked. Oh yes, he declared, tired of them all. Tired of their jaded philosophy and meaningless prattle about God. Old Scott snuggled up to him like a cat, used to affection, to never being knocked back, even when it wasn't sexual. The pain in his shoulder simply got worse. He could be blessed or he could be cursed; the road was open to either alternative. He was meandering through their paths. He was shocked and shorn of virtually everything they had ever asked for. He smiled and they smiled back. For once he didn't want to be anywhere else.

These times were branded anew. He made as if to move forward and was spiked on some strange spear. The echoes of other lives kept spiralling outwards; and he slept like he hadn't slept in years. These days were marked as a fall of purpose; as a destiny he could not deny, as a way to keep himself awake and as a snivelling piece of gutter thought; an erotic flash to achieve whatever; thoughts and friends and purpose and meaning, swirling in a single cyclonic depression. He would go down the corner shop and buy "nung burrie", one cigarette, and sit on the stool in the ramshackle corner store and castigate himself for not being able to go from one to none on a daily basis. First line of defence, Peter had always taught him, but defence against what? Why couldn't he just be happy. Why did he have to have one cigarette to stoke the feared emphysema, every day? Why were there so many shadows at the edge of sight? That's all I want, he had thought, one happy year in Bangkok; in a life which hadn't been all that happy. Just one happy year. But the truth was he didn't just want one happy year, he wanted to stay here forever, he didn't want to go anywhere. He certainly didn't want to go back to Australia. And if Calcutta was the place he had chosen to die, well he wasn't there yet. And so he worried about how he could afford it, not this year, but next. And wondered what would happen. And cursed and blessed them, all the spirits of the dead. And wrote, wrote, of birds flying backwards and a prickling sense of fear and heightened reality, preceding disaster. And knew, deep down, he didn't deserve to be happy. Not for a year. Not in Bangkok. But he was going to do it anyway; and nothing was going to stop him.

THE BIGGER STORY:

http://www.news.com.au/features/federal-election/return-of-the-rudd-as-labor-licks-wounds/story-e6frfllr-1225916242809

KEVIN Rudd is expected to return to the Cabinet as Labor holds its first autopsy of the federal election campaign.
Julia Gillard is expected to promote Mr Rudd as part of the pre-election promise she made that he would serve on the frontbench if she was returned to power. It is speculated that he will be her foreign minister.
The reshuffle opens the door for other promotions in key ministries, but a question mark remains over whether Ms Gillard will reward powerbrokers Bill Shorten and Mark Arbib. Both were instrumental in removing Mr Rudd in June.
There is also an offer of a job to Rob Oakeshott, the NSW regional MP whose support helped Labor stay in power. Today's caucus meeting is also a chance for Labor MPs - those who are left - to voice their criticism of Labor's campaign which reduced a first term majority to a second term minority government.
Meanwhile Liberal MPs will hold their first party room meeting. Tony Abbott will be re-elected as Opposition Leader and Julie Bishop is set to remain as his deputy after a mooted challenge from Andrew Robb stalled overnight.
The abortive challenge is seen as having been aimed more at shadow treasurer Joe Hockey than against Ms Bishop.
Labor reshuffle
An announcement on the reshuffle might not be made immediately, with ministers expected to be sworn in next week. But here are some of the moves that have been speculated:
- Mr Rudd to become Foreign Minister, booting Stephen Smith out of a portfolio he is considered to have done well in;
- Mr Smith to take on Defence, which has been left empty by Senator John Faulkner's decision to retire from the frontbench;
- Former union boss Greg Combet could also be Defence minister, having served in a junior portfolio in Labor's first term. Or he could be given Workplace Relations or Education, which were Ms Gillard's portfolios before she took the top job, if Simon Crean is moved on;
- There could be demotions for Peter Garrett in the wake of the failed home insulation scheme and for Penny Wong, after Labor's inability to negotiate its climate change plan through the Senate in its first term;
- Senator Wong's job could go to Mr Combet, Infrastructure Minister Anthony Albanese or Agriculture Minister Tony Burke;
- Chris Bowen is expected to take over as Finance Minister after the retirement of Lindsay Tanner, a former rival of Ms Gillard whose seat has been won by the Greens;
- There could also be a demotion for Immigration Minister Chris Evans, after the asylum seeker issue was used by the Coalition and Greens during the campaign to bleed support from Labor;
- Mr Oakeshott has been offered a "regional ministry" - probably regional development - but he is still talking it over with his family;
- A promotion for Mr Shorten and Senator Arbib could be seen as rewarding the pair who orchestrated Ms Gillard's rise. That could be divisive inside Labor, which needs to remain united with only a one-vote buffer in the lower house. It could also be easily exploited by the Opposition as jobs for the "faceless factional men".
Reading the entrails
A promotion for the campaign strategist Senator Arbib could also be a hard sell after what has been described as a disastrous campaign which almost saw Labor turfed out after just one term in office - something which is incredibly rare in Australian politics.
There is expected to be heavy scrutiny on the performance of national secretary Karl Bitar. Some of the blame will also be levelled at the state branches in New South Wales and Queensland.
Either way, there are calls for heads to roll. "It's the worst federal campaign I have ever seen," Labor pollster Rod Cameron has said on ABC TV. "The fact that Labor just snuck into government is an absolute disgrace," he said, adding that those in charge should not be allowed to direct a campaign ever again.
Mr Bowen has said there was more to the campaign than just Mr Bitar. "The campaign was difficult in many instances, we had many difficult issues to respond to during the campaign," he has said on his way into Parliament House this morning.
Mr Abbott has kicked off his day with a bike ride. He has said only that it should be "an interesting day".
He is not expected to undertake a wide-ranging reshuffle of the team which nearly toppled a first-term government. But he will have to find room for Malcolm Turnbull's return.
It is suggested Mr Turnbull could take the Communications portfolio, which will see him fighting Stephen Conroy over the net filter and the national broadband network.

Read more: http://www.news.com.au/features/federal-election/return-of-the-rudd-as-labor-licks-wounds/story-e6frfllr-1225916242809#ixzz0yzYznOQ0


http://www.nzherald.co.nz/world/news/article.cfm?c_id=2&objectid=10672063

Australia has emerged relieved, but divided and sceptical, from the 17-day limbo that ended when independents Tony Windsor and Rob Oakeshott nudged Prime Minister Julia Gillard back into power.

Windsor and Oakeshott have been attacked for the decision by many within their conservative electorates - which overwhelmingly rejected Labor and the Greens - and by senior members of the rural based Nationals, the junior Coalition partner. The two New South Wales MPs had earlier been members of the party.

Liberal Senator George Brandis told ABC Radio that the Government had as much legitimacy as the Pakistani cricket team.

No formal polls have yet emerged, but internet polling has shown conflicting views: on the Age website respondents supported the independents' choice by 53 per cent to 47 per cent, but Daily Telegraph respondents rejected it by 73 per cent to 22 per cent. But the response in another Age internet poll said only 26 per cent believed the decision would deliver stable government, while 20 per cent thought "maybe", and 54 per cent expected instability.


Describing the result as a stunning outcome for Gillard, the Australian said that while a minority Government represented a considerable challenge for Australia, it was not necessarily a negative.

The Sydney Morning Herald said Labor had been given a second chance to show some spine, and the Canberra Times said it came as no surprise the independents saw Gillard as a better prospect for stable, progressive government - but that she had no room for complacency.

The Australian Financial Review saw the result as "the worst possible outcome for Australia - a Government with a weak mandate, uncertain of getting any legislation apart from supply bills through the House of Representatives, and subject to a Greens veto in the Senate". Sydney's Daily Telegraph said the only certainty to emerge from the election was further dramatic uncertainty, while News Ltd Melbourne stablemate the Herald Sun said that despite present relief, "there is an apprehension this seemingly fragile Government is unlikely to serve a full term".

Commentators were divided.

"Persuading a coalition of Greens and four different independents that her consensus style could produce stability as well as outcomes for their constituents, in a situation where Labor won less primary votes, is a stunning achievement," the Australian Financial Review's Laura Tingle wrote.

But News Ltd columnist Andrew Bolt disagreed: "This was the worst way for Labor to win, and the best way for Tony Abbott to lose it. What a discreditable end to 17 days of largely pointless political haggling," he wrote.

Picture: Blackberry. A street in Cbiang Mai.