There was an infinity of loss, that was for sure, but equally in his startled and erratic psyche there were moments of peace, destiny, a profound surrender to these oh so short lives. You papa, you gaw, old man, many year, the boys would say, and he would laugh it off because what else could you do. Taking care of papa. There were many times when he could of, should have, sought something else. Timae? Why? Why you sad John I worry you, his old partner in crime would ask. And he would simply shrug. I want you happy. You happy me happy. They were both desolate and exhilarating times. He liked it most when the sky started to lighten and the never say die nocturnal animals would gather outside the karaoke bar. He was, as always in these situations, the only foreigner. They were kind to him. As Thais tended to be when they weren't tricking you out of money, or even when they were. As long as they got their share they were happy, and would protect you against yourself and the city's more ruthless denizens. The taxis lined up along the edge of the street outside the giant ramshackle brothels, the final customers spilling into the dawn, some of the men taking someone home with them. Little bit? the boy would say, and he would sigh in despair. He was too old for it all. He should have been home in bed tucked up with a nurse, or watching television, not inflicting his physical presence on this netherworld, night world he loved so much.
He watched the girls taking their final customers for the night. Some of them were drunk and not very attractive, pests really. He mostly ignored them if they tried to attract his attention, except to offer them some of whatever was on the table, whatever he had paid for this time. The cruelty of it was what got him, that these moments couldn't last for ever, these moments he alone was interested in, saw as the peak of the day, the week, his life. No one else did, as they amiably finished singing the final song of the night. And some of them would assure him the boy he was with was good. He like lady, whisky, mak mak, very much, they would tell him, as if he didn't know that already. Whisky and ladies were the test of a very fine fellow. Kow Jai mai kahb, do you understand? Not really. He had been cursed with an unusual temperament. It didn't really hold together in the light. It didn't match his body; now pohm poohey, plump, nor did it match his interior monologue, which was not about being old but wild, on the outer fringe of everything, stabbing into points of ecstasy, infinity, a profound love of urban landscapes, rotting, chaotic, crowded, the cute boys, well they were young men but everyone called them boys, milling outside the bar as the sun began to dapple the sky. They were up for anything. He knew exactly what they were like. They would spend most of the day asleep. They were always for sale. They were nearly always straight but could put on a show for money with few if any of the reservations common in the west. They were lazy and funny and thought everything was a great joke, especially each other, especially foreigners.
They made stupid comments about the departing girls. Most of them didn't have the 500 baht it would have taken to bed them briefly in the small, sweaty, smelly rooms upstairs. He paid the bill, as was his role. He watched his friend arguing with his girlfriend at a table outside. Timae, why? he heard him ask. She had come along to the karaoke bar at four a.m. with them and been sour the entire time they had been there. Perhaps she was shocked by the easy availability of the cheap girls; although why that should be a surprise in a city like Bangkok heaven only knows. And Thai men being the way they were, easy easy. The consternation, the regret that was in their faces as the final shards of night fled into the day! Everything had to end. They must known that. Small groups or couples wandered off into taxis. Some of the boys were having breakfast, or whatever it could be called, before wandering off home to sleep, to laze around in their flats and houses and get in the way of everybody else. Thai women all complained about how feckless, lazy and unfaithful their men were. Although even their harshest critics would often admit a sentence or two later that some of them were lough, handsome, a decorative addition to any home. He was back at meetings and even though in Bangkok they only lasted an hour they seemed to last forever; he couldn't stomach the bullshit. If you want what we have... The only people who do not get this simple program are those incapable of being honest with themselves. The worst piece of self serving logic. Sometimes he would just as rather have been outside those bars, watching the night turn into day and watching the final customers dissemble into the light, all pumped and happy with an adventure on every lip. Sandy had just got back from London and New York. You live the life, he commented. I do, she smiled. He climbed off his new bike. Doesn't the traffic worry you? she asked. It's alarming, he replied, completely alarming, adding, I miss Maria. She kind of adopted me after I called the meetings a cult. Now she was off in Rome, making a whole lot of noise in a whole different place. Yes, I miss her too, Sandy said, a wizened, wise and wealthy old thing. You going upstairs, she asked, gesturing at the Bangkok Christian Guest house. Yes, he said with what could not be called bracing enthusiasm; at the same time asking the passing parking attendant, tinae, where? See you up there, Sandy said, while the parking attendant gestured to a space behind the cars. He was the only one who knew those dawns, those karaoke places, the places where working class Thai men went to relax, drink, flirt, gossip, get their rocks off and "sing a song".
Upstairs in the Bangkok Christian Guest House he could barely sit still long enough, could barely wait for the hour to be over. One day everything he loved so much would last forever, all his peculiar yearnings frozen in an instant. One day time would stand still, for him, for everybody his strange desires were populated with, those people he embraced for friendship, companionship, love, sex, amusement, curiosity, to satisfy his peculiar eye for beauty amongst the dishevelled denizens as they departed into the dawn, into this most fascinating, most alluring of cities.
THE BIGGER STORY:
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/national-affairs/pm-caves-on-broadband-details/story-fn59niix-1225960509953
JULIA Gillard has buckled to political pressure from independent senators to save Labor's proposed National Broadband Network.
The PM has abandoned her refusal to release the business case for the massive communications project.
After insisting last week that information in the business case was "commercial in confidence", the Prime Minister yesterday released a summary of the document to secure support from independent senators for a bill that would deliver structural separation of Telstra and pave the way for the NBN.
It was clear last night that senators Nick Xenophon and Steve Fielding would support the legislation, ensuring its passage when it is put to a vote today.
Senator Fielding says the NBN would transform the health and education sectors and could even lead to the establishment of a free online university.
"I strongly believe that technology, including telecommunications infrastructure, is a vital building block for any advanced economy that wants to remain competitive in a global market," he will tell the Senate today.
The breakthrough in winning over the independent senators came as Communications Minister Stephen Conroy last night revealed that the basic internet access package offered under the NBN would provide download speeds of 12mbps, which is already available through ADSL.
However, Senator Conroy refused to reveal the price of the basic package.
Buoyed by her success, Ms Gillard last night used an address to the Australian Chamber of Commerce and Industry to champion the NBN as a fundamental economic reform that would transform the nation's economy. With parliament due to rise for the year this afternoon, Ms Gillard has been racing to round up crossbench support for the Telstra legislation. She was aware that not securing its passage would be portrayed as a failure in her first major negotiation over legislation since she became Prime Minister in June.
Government sources said last night her about-face was evidence of the Prime Minister's deft negotiation skills.
Senator Xenophon, who extracted the concession, said he had forced the government to a compromise.
Opposition communications spokesman Malcolm Turnbull said the business case summary was inadequate, short on detail and little more than "a sop" to win the support of independents.
Communications Minister Stephen Conroy has struggled for weeks to win approval for the Telstra legislation.
He conceded last night that the bungled attempt to impose seven-year gag orders -- later revised to two weeks -- on MPs who were given access to the NBN business case was the brainchild of "some very eager officials in some of the departments".
http://www.theaustralian.com.au/news/world/pentagon-contradicts-obama-on-war-gains/story-e6frg6so-1225960415155
A PENTAGON report has warned that coalition forces are making little headway against the Taliban in Afghanistan.
Violence was at an all-time high as insurgents capitalised on NATO plans to hand over security to Afghan troops by 2014.
The Pentagon assessment, which talks of "uneven" progress in the war against the Afghan extremists, appears to contradict assurances by President Barack Obama last week that the insurgency was in decline.
Its release heaps further embarrassment on the White House a day after it was revealed the main Taliban protagonist in recent reconciliation talks with the Afghan government was not, as he claimed to be, the insurgents' No 2 commander, Mullah Akthar Muhammad Mansour, but a Pakistani shopkeeper from Quetta.
Initial reports suggested the man had been paid large sums of money and given safe passage by NATO forces to Kabul for the talks and was even granted a meeting with President Hamid Karzai - which the presidential palace denied yesterday. The Taliban yesterday gloated over the ruse, with spokesman Qari Yusuf Ahmadi telling reporters: "The Americans and their allies are very stupid and anyone could fool them."
The US commander in Afghanistan, General David Petraeus, denied the US had been duped. "There was scepticism about one of these all along and it may well be that scepticism was well-founded," he said, adding the revelations, reported in The New York Times, were no surprise to either US or Afghan intelligence agencies.
US and Afghan officials had previously stressed any discussions between Taliban commanders and Afghan officials were simply "talks about talks", designed to sound out trusted Taliban conduits.
Although the impostor's motives remain unclear, Afghan officials yesterday suggested he may have been sent by Pakistan's Inter-Services Intelligence spy agency to see what Afghans would offer.
The issue highlights the complexities involved in coalition efforts to exit Afghanistan through a negotiated settlement, just as the Pentagon assessment underscores the difficulties of fighting an enemy now preying on locals' fears of an imminent NATO withdrawal. The report, which assessed progress from April to September 30, found cause for optimism in coalition forces' ability to "localise" the insurgency in Kandahar and Helmand provinces, where the US military surge focused its efforts. But it was pessimistic about the prospects of a further Pakistani crackdown on militant sanctuaries within its territory, despite increased co-operation between the US and Pakistani military.
Leaders at last weekend's NATO summit agreed in principle to Mr Karzai's demands that security for the country be handed over to Afghan forces by late 2014 or 2015. But evidence of mass corruption in September's parliamentary elections - a year after Mr Karzai was re-elected in a poll widely condemned as rigged - has done little to boost confidence in the Afghan administration.
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